2007-06-14 / Editorial

MAKE IT PLAIN

By Glenn Schicker

Oh! Two Thousand Eight!

Oh, my name's Barack Obama and I come from Illinoise. Although I lack experience, I want to play with the big boys.

I am Hillary Clinton. "It takes a village to raise a child." I can tame the terrorists if I can tame my husband wild.

Bill Richardson is who I am, our nation's Native son. Diplomacy is my forté; it's how the battle's won.

I invented the Internet; now I'm saving planet Earth. Al Gore (that's me) is a dark horse, despite his growing girth.

Oh! Those Democrats! Who'll be their nominee? Someone who'll garner Blue State votes and others liberally.

Oh, I'm Rudy Guiliani, the hero of nine-eleven. My statement on abortion rights brought fire down right from heaven.

My name's Mitt Romney and I've been a Mormon all my life. But have no fear, in the White House I'll live with just one wife.

When Bush first ran, I, John McCain, staged a GOP mutiny. I'm brave, honest and tried and true; my temper bears scrutiny.

I am Chuck Hagel. Like McCain, I served in Vietnam. The war we're in now never will make those Iraqis calm.

Mike Huckabee is who I am, a former Baptist preacher. Like Clinton, I'm from Arkansas, but he was not my teacher.

I, Fred Thompson, like Reagan by trade am an actor. If I throw my hat into the ring, I'll be a major factor.

Oh! That GOP! George Bush is a lame duck. To hold the White House four more years will take a lot of luck.

Oh! Two thousand eight! How much can we endure? With all these candidates and more, a long campaign is sure.

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